


always

by lostalongtthewayy



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Captain Swan - Freeform, F/M, Gen, New York roadtrip, Quiet Moment, cs fluff, cs proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-14
Updated: 2016-07-14
Packaged: 2018-07-24 00:30:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7486188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostalongtthewayy/pseuds/lostalongtthewayy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’m not leaving this town without you again. Last time I did, you ended up in a complete different realm; I’m not risking that happening again.” In the midst of yet another crisis in Storybrooke, Emma gets a phone call that gets her to step back from the fight and leave town for a few days —however, this time she’s not leaving without her pirate boyfriend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	always

_._

* * *

And…

There’s a crisis.

A new one.

(of freaking course)

* * *

A scary little guy claiming ownership over Storybrooke isn’t exactly the worst threat Emma has been forced to deal with though. At all.

She counts her own dark persona ( _and Killian’s)_ in that mix of threats she’s defeated with her family.

She literally _just_ came back from the underworld, for Christ’s sake.

(Good times, by the way)

Scary little guys don’t really scare her as much as they would have a couple years ago.

This is just life it seems…

* * *

Still, when two days later she gets not one, but _three_ phone-calls from her landlord in New York, and then her father gives her _that_ look and says, “ _We_ can handle it, Em,” _Well…_ Emma is very damn well tempted to just take him up on his offer.

Especially when certain pirate, the very one she loves more than life, so very casually volunteers to help her on this quest —his words.

* * *

Her lease on her apartment in New York is up. Her landlord, while a decent man and actually a nice person overall, is quite fed up with her reasons (excuses) as to why she hasn’t been around her apartment in weeks (months)

He tells her on the phone she needs to pick up her things no later than Friday (two days from today). If she doesn’t, he’ll apparently have “his guys” pick up everything and she’ll never see of anything she still keeps in that apartment again.

Emma tells _Killian_ about the calls — _he_ tells her father, and her father tells her mother, because —well, of course he does.

By the time they meet at Granny’s to regroup (figure out how much damage their newest visitor in town has made) everybody knows about the call she got and of her non-plans to road-trip back to New York.

Her father is adamant that she goes. Snow is a little less eager, yet still supportive of whatever she decides.

(is not as if she can’t hire somebody to pick up her apartment and ship all hers and Henry’s things to Storybrooke)

          But, “ _That can take weeks, Emma_ ,” Her father reminds her.

Emma only briefly stops to consider David’s hidden motives to want her out of town (other than being the good dad he is and wanting her to get a break from this particular crisis)

Truly, Emma’s almost sold without all of his insisting (she doesn’t especially hate him for listing all the pros of her just doing the trip though)

(she also has to sign some paperwork with her landlord so maybe she does _have_ to go)

Henry is not all that interested in tagging along (most likely sensing his mom’s need to have a bit of alone time with Killian —which he simply assumed would go with her just because — never mind his mom getting a bit of a break too) which is okay, Emma decides.

(although, she would be a huge liar if she doesn’t admit how much she also misses _their_ alone time —just she and her son)

Still, when Killian asks her if she _does_ wish he went with her, Emma’s first instinct is to smile and kiss his lips. “I’m not leaving this town without you again,” She tells him. “Last time I did, you ended up in a complete different realm; I’m not risking that happening again,” she reminds him needlessly, and that of course settles it.

They are going on a road trip to New York it seems.

(again)

* * *

Killian has just finished packing the bug’s truck with their overnight bags when he catches her lost in thought.

“Hey,” He says, and he’s so gentle, smiling at her _so_ lovingly, that whatever worry she had in her mind disappears momentarily. She smiles back without thought, and then he speaks. “Storybrooke _is_ still going to be here when we come back, Swan,”

She tilts her head and looks at him not quite believing those words; this is _Storybrooke_ they are talking about after all.

“Fine,” Killian says, as if reading her thoughts. “You make a fair point, but regardless,” He says, brushing a tender hand down the side of her face. “Storybrooke _will_ survive without you for a couple of days. Trust me?”

She smiles, chuckling breathily.

Of course she does.

* * *

The drive to New York isn’t an especially short one, a little over 300 miles she has to drive all on her own. It’s tiring, but there’s no way Emma can begrudge her precious ex-pirate that still side-eyes her every time she mentions him _eventually_ having to learn how to drive.

Still, Emma does make a point to make the best of this road trip (as opposed to their last one, when Killian rode shotgun with her father – _her father,_ and not her.) This time it is just the two of them and it’s nice, she has to admit. When Killian dozes off around mile 100, Emma isn’t even mad —or jealous. She knows she’s not the only one who’s had trouble sleeping these last few days, so she’s glad every time she sees him having a seemingly peaceful sleep.

They stop at a diner when she absolutely just needs a break (is starving) and she shows and tells Killian all about America’s greatest road trip treasure, _greasy spoons_. He compares the place to Granny’s, of course, but Emma assures him is not the same —although deep down inside she agrees with him. The place they stop at, does have a bit of a Granny’s vibe (as probably most greasy spoons in the country do, but still)

This is _her_ territory, and she gets to decide how very not-granny’s this diner is.

* * *

The drive to New York takes a bit longer than normal —they make it to her former apartment around four in the afternoon and Emma’s spent. No longer hungry (thank you Italian deli just two blocks from her place) but still rather spent.

Killian tells her to go ahead as he takes their things out of the Bug and up to her apartment. When he enters the place a few minutes later, he finds Emma peacefully napping on the couch (a full tummy and a happy heart would do that to you)

Killian smiles and overly quietly shuts the door behind them.

He doesn’t roam the place but sets beside her on the couch —Emma doesn’t even flinch. Her head falls on his lap, and she curls into him instinctively.

Killian’s asleep within minutes as well.

* * *

They meet Emma’s landlord around six that same day (eager little guy is apparently in a rush to get _his_ apartment back for once and for all)

Killian’s by her during most of the meeting but he doesn’t have much to say —she explained it to him, but Killian is still not completely comfortable with whatever constituted her lease to this apartment.

By the time he leaves —Mr. Khomari, Emma calls him— is almost eight o’clock but at least all his business with Emma are settled. Killian’s on the couch frowning at the big screen Emma insists he call _T.V,_ when she plops down next to him.

She takes the remote from him almost immediately, her head falling to his shoulder as she flips through the channels absently. His arm is around her and he’s twisting a little bit of her hair around his finger. It’s soothing how close they are, how _normal_ this feels, doing all this _with_ him, how easy getting used to all this will be.

Emma can barely bear to imagine a world where she doesn’t come home, _every single freaking_ night, to Killian. She wants it. She wants normal with him, _so badly_.

(Even if normal for them is fighting monsters every other week.)

(or… _every day_ )

* * *

They decide they’ll pack the place tomorrow —it’s mostly just their personal effects and their clothes. Almost none of the furniture and appliances are hers, although she does tell him the TVs are hers, and she wouldn’t mind taking those back home with them. _We may need to rent a U-Haul_ , she tells him as an afterthought, and it’s only by the look of pure cluelessness in his face that she remembers once more that he’s not from this world

(she forgets sometimes. mostly because he fits in so so so damn well)

(in _her_ world anyway —in _her_ life. And truly, she wouldn’t want it any other way)

She explains him what U-Haul is, and even shows him a little picture on her phone. Killian comments on the silly name, but agrees renting one may be a good idea given the size of her bug.

Emma mockingly apologizes for the size of her “vessel” and then sets on laughing for serving him that joke on a platter.

Still, once she calms down a little, Killian is looking at her and she knows he’s about to say something important. “What?”

“ _My vessel,_ is always at your service Swan,” He reminds her, “maybe some time we can set sail together, here, or somewhere else, with your boy,” And his voice is so soft, and his eyes only just barely meet hers before he looks away, scratching his ear and he’s so beautiful to her, and—

She kisses him, full on kisses him, and then giggles when he grins against her mouth. “That sounds amazing,” She tells him and means it.

He’s mentioned Henry now though, so there’s nothing Emma can do to get him out of her head. She excuses herself to the little kitchen table behind them to make a phone call to that son of hers. It’s a bit late, but she hopes Henry’s up for a quick chat.

And he is.

After making sure Storybrooke is still standing, and Henry is safe and everyone else is too, Emma finishes the call promising him she’ll be _home_ soon.

“Love you, too; bye Henry,” She says, before setting the phone down.

Emma stays sitting at the kitchen table though, head tilted, just watching the back of Killian’s head for a while. He arches his neck back eventually (she’s quiet now, clearly done with her call, but still not back to his side) “Everything all right, love?”

Emma smiles, looking at his face upside down looking at her. (what a dork) “Everything’s good —apparently our little town can in fact make it a day without us,” She says, finally getting up from the table. She walks back to the couch, Killian’s eyes following her every step of the way. “Who would have known?”

And he smiles at her words because to him she is funny, and wonderful and beautiful and everything in between. “Henry okay?”

“Yeah,” She sighs, snuggling into him and nodding. She’s quiet after that though —for a little bit just reveling in the certainty of this; him, her, _them._

So then, it just feels natural to tell him, “Hey, Killian,”

“Um?” They are watching (he’s watching) something on the TV about a poor stray kitty stuck in a water drain somewhere in Miami (he doesn’t know where that is) and there’s a firetruck, the police, animal control (he’s not sure they have that in Storybrooke) and yet none of them can manage to get the poor thing to safety.

It seems so inane and yet before Killian comments on how _he_ would get the cat out of there (food, the poor animal looks starved for Heaven’s sake); Emma takes the remote and flicks the TV off. She has to contain the smile at the way he positively _pouts_ at her when his eyes shift from the TV and he’s looking at her.

“So…” She says, trying like hell to ignore that look he’s giving her. “Today, I started thinking about something,”

“What’s _that_ Swan?” He’s faking the annoyance in his tone; she can tell because as much he claims she’s an open book to him, so is him to her most of the times.

“Well, you know,” Emma stalls, her index finger toying with the buttons of his shirt. (The nerve he has leaving those top buttons undone —damn him and everything every little part of him does to her.)

Man, she’s such a goner for him. No point to even fight that anymore.

But still,

She’s nervous. A little. Maybe even nervous about how sure she is? because she is, but that’s not how it usually feels, so maybe a bit of hesitation isn’t the end of the world.

“What is it?” His tone is devoid of all annoyance and mockery right then, and Emma takes that cue to look at him.

Suddenly she’s not that nervous anymore and instead, she’s sure again —in them, and these terribly strong feelings she has for him. “I was just thinking, that, you know, when we get married, there’s something I can’t figure out,”

“Uh,” He lets out not quite processing what she’s saying. He frowns, but he’s also smiling and it’s so precious she wants to kiss him.

(but she doesn’t)

Instead, Emma just waits as her words sink in.

“Excuse me love? Have I missed the part when we decided to wed?”

And his question does it and she’s bursting into a fit of giggles against him immediately.

“Emma,” He says, and she knows he means business because he’s using her name.

She rolls her eyes playfully, planting a soft smile to her face before meeting his eye. She even pushes from him a little and properly sits on the couch. She already did the hardest part —putting that thought out of her head for once and for all; so this next part is actually the easy part.

(there’s not an inch of Emma that doubts this man would want to make her his wife)

“I wanted to bring it up, put it on the table if you will, wasn’t sure how, so I thought what the hell and just said it”

“So…”

“So, _when_ we get married I was thinking,” She says as if it’s not a big deal. “Our vows may be a little tricky,”

“How so?” He asks, just playing along because like she said, what the bloody hell

“ _Till death do us apart_ ; that’s the epic promise couples make when they get married,” She tells him, “but that doesn’t work with us, now does it? Not even death could keep us apart, Killian —we are far beyond that at this point,”

“Indeed,” He agrees simply. “You are right love,” He nods, eyes soft, tenderly meeting hers. “What do you suppose we ought to do then?”

“Um,” Emma hums playfully, shifting to look straight ahead, thinking, tapping her own nose goofily in thought. “How about no expiration dates?” She says, turning to look at him once more. “We just vow to love and cherish each other, _no untils_ , we just promise to do it, in sickness, in health, in good times and bad, all that, we just… _never_ stop?”

“Swan,”

“Yeah?”

He swallows hard, shifting himself to the side so that he’s properly watching her. His hand is cupping her face tenderly in seconds. He wasn’t planning on any of this today, but…she’s sure of their love, and truthfully, so is he.

 _Completely_.

“I’ve spent hundreds and hundreds of years looking up at the stars on my own —wondering if one day that would change, and knowing deep down it never would —because _vengeance_ was my only purpose and nothing else mattered for a _very long time_ ,” He looks down, still ashamed of his many past offences, but… “Everything did change when I met _you_ ,” He says, and his eyes light up suddenly —with hope, maybe. “One day there was guessing and imagining a future again —there was hope where hatred had taken roots so long ago, for so very long — _you_ changed everything for me, you helped _me_ remember who I am,”

(she feels like she’s going to cry —this wasn’t supposed to turn so serious so soon, but she gets it —she gets _him_ and…fuck, how is she supposed to control her emotions when he’s being so open and honest and…)

“You saved me,” Killian tells her not for the first time, yet meaning it more than anything in the world. “You told me you’d see the best in me, and you have —you see me as the man I wish to be and even if I fall short, I know you’ll be here, with me,”

(she nods, she _has_ to nod, she can’t form words, she’d sob if she tries, so she nods, fervently because _fuck it_ , _nothing_ can keep her from his side now —not even death can keep her from always finding him)

(and he’s smiling at her, so freaking lovingly it makes her want to cry even more)

“We’ve made mistakes along the way, big mistakes, mistakes I’ll be sorry about every day, but we’ve managed to love each other in spite of everything, because of it all even —you were the only reason I managed to fight the darkness. You still are,” He promises, “I want to be a better man, every day, for you, because you deserve someone to love you and cherish you _and_ your heart forever —I can be that man, Emma; I vow that to you, today, tomorrow, every day of our lives,”

And that does it, the damn breaks, and she’s sobbing before she can stop herself.

He hugs her, but isn’t concerned (completely) because she _is_ a sobbing mess but she’s also somehow laughing and it throws him off a little, but he loves her, and he doesn’t care.

Killian holds her to his chest and she sobs against him for a good few minutes, and it’s not completely awful because Killian is safe, and he loves her, and she’d rather cry in his arms any day of the week than on her own where no one can see her.

She’s not completely calm but her sobs have lessened when Killian continues. “You’ve loved me even when I’ve hated myself, Emma —you are everything to me. You’ve given this pirate who hardly ever mattered, a reason to matter, to not only survive and get by, but live and rejoice every single day that you are by me.” He stops talking when she pulls back from him, her face is wet with tears but new ones are done falling at least.

The pad of his thumb does the job of a tissue for now, and he wipes at some of the tears. He tilts his head, smiling softly at her. “If you have me, I vow to spend the rest of my life loving you, making you smile, believing in you, and reminding you day and night where _you_ belong,” He pauses, meeting her misty green eyes with his. “I love you, Emma Swan,” He says and it’s so simple, a promise, but it tugs at her heart just so and the tears start falling once again.

And this time _he_ chuckles because of all reactions Emma breaking down crying shouldn’t be a preferred reaction, but somehow it is, and it is what it is, and he knows she isn’t sad or completely mortified by his feelings for her.

It’s the opposite really, she’s overwhelmed, and to tell the truth, so is he, but they can’t _both_ break down and sob at the same time, can they?

“Love…?”

She sniffles, wiping at her cheeks, and dabbing at her eyes feeling a little silly, but mostly just full and… _happy._ “What am I supposed to say back to _that?”_ She says and they _both_ chuckle. Her laugh is overly watery but that is beside the point —she’s laughing and that _is_ an improvement from her previous state. “I’m not good with words like that, Killian,” She says, and the jest in her tone is gone.

Killian sobers a little too, but still shrugs. “You don’t have to say anything back, love — _I know_ ,” He assures her, pulling her back into his arms, and smiling when Emma didn’t even think about it before curling into him.

She sighs against his chest, her breathing still a little shaky and uneven, but her heart rate steadily going back to normal.

It’s at least a couple of minutes before Emma starts talking.

He might think (and mean it) when he says she doesn’t need to say anything back, but she wants to. She wants him to know that he means just as much to her as she means to him. “I love you, too, Killian,” She says, shifting only enough to pepper soft little kisses on his chest.

He smiles (impossibly wide) and kisses the top of her head in return —he already knew that.

“I know,” He tells her anyway.

Emma lets out a small chuckle, a breathy little thing before pulling from him and looking into those ridiculously blue eyes of his. “You mean the world to me, you know that, right?” She asks, and thankfully, he nods. He’s smiling at her, as though trying to put her at ease, and it’s working, but at the same time, Emma wants him to know she’s dead serious about this. This isn’t a game for her, in the slightest, she’s in this with him _forever_ —like she said before, no expiration dates. “You know when no one believed in me, _you_ did. You believed in me and made _me_ believe in _me_. No one has ever done that for me before —not like you do. You trust me…to be better, to be a freaking hero, to conquer my fears, my darkness…” Her eyes fall to her lap for a second; she takes a breath, before looking back into his eyes. She shrugs. “ _Our_ darkness,” She says.

Killian nods, taking her hand in his and giving it a gentle squeeze.

“All my life I thought I needed my walls —I thought the universe would barge in and destroy me more if I didn’t have them. I thought I wouldn’t be strong enough without them, I thought the only thing keeping me standing were my walls; but you showed me I was wrong. You were patient, open, and understanding with me. You know when to push and when not to, you trust me to make my own choices, you understand me and all the _whys_ of who am I.” She smiles at him, softly, but she does. She’s not sad, she’s happy he’s part of her life and that most of these things aren’t part of who she is anymore.

She’s more open now — _God_ , so much more open to love and hope, and the belief of their future, —Killian’s such a big reason to that change. “You broke through my every wall, and I’m so glad you did Killian Jones,” She promises, using her hand to cup the side of his face. He’s smiling slightly too when their eyes meet. “I’m not afraid to love you anymore — _or_ to tell you,” She says, and he looks at her knowingly. Her nose wrinkles when she smiles back at him and it takes everything she has not to kiss him already. (soon though) “You’ve _always_ been there for me, and I know that isn’t going to chance,”

Killian nods at her and she grins. “I’m not going anywhere either, I want you to know that too,” She tells him, her wide grin is replaced by a serious nod. “I’m not running anymore —I’m done with that, I wanna do this with you, all of it, and I’m not scared anymore —and that’s thanks to you, so…thank you, Killian,”

“Aye,” He says and that is all he says for a long moment. For a man as good with words as he is, suddenly he has no idea what to tell her.

“If you have _me,_ I promise to _always_ be here with you, to trust _you,_ and love _you,_ and cherish _your_ heart with mine forever, I promise you that, okay?”

“Aye,” He says again, and he’s so impossibly moved and at a loss for words (and innuendo!) that it makes Emma smile wide.

“You won’t have to _ever_ be alone again, I’ll make sure of that, got it?”

And at last he smiles, and it’s a real smile —pure and joyous, and it’s rare but it isn’t going to be anymore. So help her, she’s going to make him smile _those smiles_ as often as she can manage.

“I got it, Swan,” Killian says back, finally finding his words. She’s grinning widely (more so than before) when he grabs her face and leans in kissing her.

The kiss is sweet, loving, and lingers for a little while. They are both grinning when they pull back, their foreheads touching.

Emma sighs first, and her grin is dreamy and happy.

“Did we just…”

And of course Emma chuckles the second he speaks. Oh yeah, they just definitively did do what he thinks they did. “Low key got married?”

“Aye?”

“I believe so,” Emma tells him, and then giggles — _fucking giggles_ like a teenager but she doesn’t care one bit. Instead, she moves closer to him and kisses him; he laughs, so she does too, and then they kiss again —the kiss is sloppy and wet, and somehow she’s happier than she’s ever been.

“For my parents ’ sake, I think a proper ceremony may have to take place sometime in the future, but…I want this, I want everything with you, I really do.” She stresses. “You are not just my _boyfriend_ Killian Jones, you are the love of my life,” she chuckles at her own cheesiness but _my God_ , she is so past caring at this point. “I’m tired of having to call you _that_ you know?”

“Aye, love,” he felt the exact same way in that he wasn’t sure what _term_ was enough to define his relationship with Emma. In the end Killian had settled with no definition, but now…well, now things are different.

“You know, today when my landlord was talking, he kept referring to you as my _boyfriend_ , and good God, I wanted to shut him up so badly. It seemed so stupid that after everything we’ve been through this silly little guy was calling you my boyfriend,” She shakes her head, still hardly believing how many times her landlord called Killian her “boyfriend” today. “You are so much more than that; you are not just my handsome fuck buddy,”

He makes a face. “I would hope so,”

“Oh come on,” Emma laughs, slapping his chest, and smiling goofily at him. “I mean it; you are a lot more than that,”

"Aye?”

“Aye Capt'n,” She tells him playfully, but then sobers up only a moment later. “You are my true love,“

"And you, mine, Swan,”

Oh she knows. Emma smiles, nods, and then kisses him once more. Today of all days she’s realized how much she likes it, just kissing him for the sake of kissing him. She doesn’t even need an excuse anymore. Before she used to kiss him when they said hello in the morning, or when they parted ways sometimes, but now…it seemed so silly now that she saved kissing for “especial occasions”

Fuck it, there is no such thing as _especial occasions_ —every moment she’s alive _and he’s alive_ it’s a freaking especial occasion as far as she’s concerned. Come hell or high water, Emma’s going to kiss the air out of Killian until…well, until he tells her he wants otherwise.

(which is never going to happen, she’s sure)

“I shall not let you rob me of a dashing proposal Swan,”

Wait what? Emma’s been too focused in her own inner thoughts to catch what he said? Proposal? Didn’t they just agree this counts as an almost marriage? One would assume with both their intentions out in the open, an actual proposal was pointless.

Is not like she’s going to take anything she said today back and say no, right?

Still, “No?” She might as well play along…see what he wants to say…

“Absolutely no,” And of course Killian is serious and resolute when he answers. “You may have put this on the table, but I _will_ ask you to marry me, love — _properly_ —on a later date,” (not too far in the future!) “Preferably after asking your boy and dad for your hand,”

That part has her giggling because _what? Was he even real?_ It is all much funnier to her given how truly serious about the matter Killian seemed. She should have expected it from him though —although, “Are you telling me _pirates_ stand on ceremony? Properly propose and heck, actually _do get married_?”

He smiles, indulges her, but still gives a shake of his head a moment later. “Betrothing myself to you your highness, would be my greatest honor. I don’t deserve you, Swan, but if you have me as your husband, I promise to spend the rest of my days proving myself worthy of you,” he pauses, wiping at the tears that once again are on her cheeks for some reason. “Worthy of your love,”

And of course she’s crying (and laughing) again but she doesn’t care. “I do,”

“Pardon me?”

“I do want to marry you,” Emma leaves out the “so badly” from her sentence. “This, today, everything you said, _this_ was some dashing proposal, Killian, believe you me,”

He’s looking at her like she were crazy. Oh she didn’t even know what he has planned. Now it wouldn’t be a surprise anymore but when he gets the honor to put a ring on her hand (like she deserves) she’ll have to reconsider her words. “When I propose, _and I will_ , rather formally _your highness_ , I expect you to accept just as you just did,”

“You are an idiot,”

He simply shrugs lightly.

“I love you so much,” She tells him because _fuck everything_ , it’s the truth. “And I will, you know? I’ll say yes,”

“You promise, love?”

“I swear,”

“Good”

She’s smiles brightly, recalling that time she told him that very word so long ago.

* * *

“It’ll be nice to have my dad walk me down an aisle,” Emma tells him as an afterthought a moment later. Killian tilts his head, eyes focusing on hers. “I never thought I’d have that. You know, little girls imagine their wedding day growing up all the time. I never did, I figured there was no point in that,”

“Now though?”

“Now it’s different,” So very different she barely believes it most days. “I can picture them wanting to throw a big party, make arrangements, all of it,”

“Would you want any of that?”

Emma looks at him, tilting her head. “I’d be scared monster-of-the-week would crash it, and ruin the whole thing,”

“I didn’t ask you that,”

She rolls her eyes. “Fine,” She says, but there’s no edge to her words at all. “Honestly, I don’t know —I liked this, just you and me, putting all these words out in the universe —I know we are in this, whatever it is, forever, this could be enough for me,”

“But…” He prompts

“But,” She says, smiling. “If my mother insists in having a proper wedding, I don’t think that’d be the worst thing. You’d look quite handsome in a very _you_ version of a tux, you know?”

“A—“

“Formal wedding attire for boys, we can google it later,” She answers before Killian could ask the question, and kisses him, and then giggles against his mouth when he frowns, but then she kisses his frown away and everything’s perfect again. “We have people now, you know? It’s not just you, or just me, or me and Henry, or just us and my parents, we have people now, and I’m thankful for that. I’d like David walking me down an aisle. I can’t really even pretend that I don’t,”

“Then you shall have that, Swan,” She should have everything her heart desires — _everything_. “I promise,”

She kisses him again. “My little brother can be a ring bearer,”

“A—“

Again she shushes him with a kiss and a giggle. “We dress him up, trust him with our wedding bands, then have him walk down an aisle with said bands —his job would be to hold them until it’s time to actually use them,”

“Ah,” Killian lets out, scratching the back of his neck. “I see,” He says, “Although, I’m certain your brother is still very much a _baby_ , I don’t think he’s going to be doing much walking down an aisle any time soon,”

“That’s true,” Emma considers, her nose wrinkling in thought. “We could have another kid though —definitely _not_ Henry,”

“Ah but why not?” He asks and can tell immediately how hard Emma’s trying not to laugh.

“Oh, well, he’d never speak to us again for one thing?” She gives in and chuckles, ignoring completely the fake glare she tries to give her. “No, but seriously,” She says a moment later, “This is traditionally something _little boys_ do —think someone around little Roland’s age would be perfect —old enough to know what to do, yet still young enough that he’s just still too adorable to look at.”

“That lad,” Killian’s demeanor changes —so does Emma when she remembers. Suddenly she’s sorry she even brought _this_ up in the first place.

“He’s in the Enchanted Forest now, right?”

“Aye,” He says and that’s that for a few minutes.

Emma sits back properly on the couch, her feet lifting over to the coffee table before them, as Killian uses his arm to pull her to him.

They are quiet for a long moment, her cheek is pressed to his chest, to his _heart_ , and it’s beating, it’s _really properly beating,_ _his heart_ , and despite everything, Emma smiles. _They_ both are alive and now more than never it feels so precious and heck, _rare._

“It’s not fair,” Emma says at last, and she feels Killian nodding against her head.

His cheek is resting against the crown of her head, and his nod was slow, sad, but still there. He agrees —it breaks his heart for his friend, his _children (God, children!),_ and he knows Emma’s right. It’s just not fair.

“But at least he’s not alone Killian,” ( _Right?_ she wants to ask)

And he puffs out a little laugh because no, he’s not, but…

But Killian heard the question in Emma’s words, the one she doesn’t want to ask, but that they are both asking to themselves anyway. He wasn’t alone _right?_ “I believe the lad was brought up with the help of the merry men, aye?”

“Yeah,” Emma answers, tilting her face to look at him. “He’s not with strangers, he’s with–”

“Family,”

“Right?”

Killian nods, slowly, before kissing her forehead. “Perhaps when we know more about this Mister Hyde and his intentions with Storybrooke…”

“When things are a bit more settled,” She adds to his thought and he nods.

“Travel between realms is possible again,”

“We can check on him, make sure he’s all right?” Emma’s sure Regina is going to be doing that herself too, but she and Killian can care for the little guy, too right?

“Aye, love, I’d like to do that for Robin, he —well…”

“He was a good friend,”

“Aye,” Killian agrees simply. “That he was,”

“He saved Regina,”

Killian just looks down at Emma, face solemn and sad. He gets it, truly, he does, he’d die for Emma in a heartbeat again, but, “He’s a bloody hero,”

Emma puffs a small laugh too, but tears are burning in her eyes again. This time the tears aren’t happy for once tonight and she hates that. She sniffles, and then reaches across Killian to find his flask in his pocket. She gets it out and brings it in front of them. “To Robin?” She says, looking up at Killian sadly.

He gulps, taking the flask from her hands and using his teeth to get it open. “Aye, to Robin,” He says, watching as Emma properly sits then and takes the flask he’s offering.

She takes a small sip, the bitter taste of his rum warming her insides in seconds.

Killian waits until she’s meeting his eyes again before taking the flask and having a sip himself. “To us too, love,” He says then, trying for a small smile.

Emma does her best to match it as she takes the flask back from him. “Yeah,” She agrees easily. “To our, um —to our _betrothment_?” She says and can’t help the giggle that escapes. “Is that even a word?”

Killian chuckles too, looking at her with so much love her heart is sure to skip a beat. “Aye, to our betrothal love,” He laughs when she does first, then she does take a second sip of rum, but this time it passes less bitter than before.

It warms her belly, and the kiss he gives her after even more so. “I love you,”

“You too, Swan,” Killian promises solemnly. “Always,”

“Yeah,” Emma sighs, “ _Always_ ,”

**Author's Note:**

> I live in land of denial where these two actually TRULY get a break lol! They EARNED it after last season! all these new spoilers make my head spin! haha Hopefully you liked this! I wanted them to have a private moment and pseudo get married just the two of them! :) xxo


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